by Saber Slate | Jan 18, 2018 | Opinion & Reviews
Originally Published January 8th, 2014 by thenextbigthing
Hey guys (and if you are reading this article for advice you probably are a guy),
In this article I will (attempt) to teach you who are stuck in the gloomy, heartbreaking prison known as the “friendzone” to pull a Houdini and escape. Keep in mind, readers, that this is what has worked with me, and not every step may be applicable to your situation. If that is the case then I have shared the links to a couple other sources at the bottom of this article. Here are my 5 ways to escape the friendzone.
1. Find out what they like. You should talk to your potential significant other often and find out what they are interested in. In my case it turned out that we had a lot in common. For example, you may both enjoy reading, hunting, sports, or even hardcore game cube gaming. If it turns out that you don’t have much in common, or that she/he hates things that you love with a passion, such as your favorite sports team, your favorite activities, or *gasp* your large collection of mint condition action figures from the 60s,then you probably should rethink your quest to escape the friendzone. If you don’t have much in common than you are likely just physically attracted to the person, which is not a good base for a long term relationship to build off. However, if you do, in fact, have things in common you should jokingly say something along the lines of “You like watching TV, eating ice cream, and crying because you’re alone too? That’s pretty cool! Not too many girls are into that stuff.” (At this point I asked if she liked football, because I knew she did, and when she said yes, I said “Wow you’re perfect! Why aren’t we dating?” (jokingly). She’ll probably laugh at this point, but don’t be discouraged. Next you should say “In all seriousness though, I wish there were more girls like you.” This is where you pay attention to the response. If she/he says something like “Yeah, I wish there were more guys like you” then you should go for it. If you say “Hey, we’ve never really given “us” a try.” It may work. You’ve just used logic to try to get out of the friendzone. Why isn’t that used more often???
2. Remind them of the things you’ve done together. If you haven’t known this person for long and have somehow been placed in the friendzone then this may not apply to you. If you get her/him thinking about all the good times you’ve had together, or even challenges you’ve gone through together, it creates a kind of bond between the two of you. If you really wanted to you could say “Every time I see you it makes my day 71.333% better.” Or say that you’d like to spend more time together. Possibly both.
3. Give them compliments. This one is fairly easy. Tell her that she’s special and that you’ve never met anybody like her. Tell him that he makes you laugh. Tell her that she’s pretty (Etc.). I’d recommend trying this in combination with any of the other strategies listed.
4. Come out and tell the person you like her/him and that you want to be more than friends. Say she/he has all the characteristics of the ideal girlfriend or boyfriend, but those are also the characteristics of a good friend. Ask them out. Just do it. This way, the person will notice that you have confidence, a very attractive trait. It also shows that you have good self-esteem, as you are not afraid of rejection (back to gta v, soda, and a bag of chips), or that you have confidence that they will say yes. If you really want to you can always go with my favorite excuses if this fails- “my friend took my phone” or “I got dared to ask you out”, which can take you out of the embarrassment spotlight if in public.
5. Finally, if none of these work, just find your own way out, or accept that this person may not be right for you. You’re wasting your time trying to get someone who just isn’t that in to you. Face it- many high school relationships don’t last that long anyway, and even if you escaped the friendzone this person would most likely just be a faint memory in the back of your head once you go to college, or get a job, or immediately pack your bags and leave Wisconsin forever upon graduating. You could stop talking to the person, and maybe they’d come back to you when they realized that you were the one that had been there for them before and now they couldn’t live without you. Alternatively, you could just enjoy your friendship as it is.
In conclusion: As somebody who has been on both sides of the friendzone, I can tell you that a combination of the first four will likely bring you the most success. I know this because they have worked for me, granted, I am a pretty attractive guy (my mommy told me so), so it was easy for me. Until next time, stay classy Franklin High School.
by Saber Slate | Jan 18, 2018 | Advice
Originally Published April 30th, 2014 by Bazinga62 (Okay this one is clearly Euvin)
Well, now that I’ve told you how to prepare for AP exams, it’s only natural that you’ll also want some advice for how to deal with it when you fail miserably.
And trust me, some of you will.
When you get a score on an AP test that makes you want to bury your head in your hands, never to resurface to the light of day again, you’re probably reacting quite logically. After all, after spending so many hours in preparation for something, if you still failed, it’s more than understandable why you would detest existence. You just best simply weren’t good enough. Deal with it.
Seriously, just chill. It’s really not that big of a deal. The positive side of AP tests is that your scores don’t affect your GPA. So what if you just wasted nearly a hundred dollars and weren’t able to receive college credit for some thing you’ve invested countless hours in? That’s life. Like it or not, this kind of thing is going to happen to you A LOT. You can sit there, separating yourself from society with a curtain of more than obvious (and pitiful) shame, or you can work with what you’ve still got and make the best of it?
You’ve still got next year (unless you’re a senior), and hey, it’s almost summer. For those of you whose classes are mostly APs, congratulations: YOU’RE PRACTICALLY DONE WITH SCHOOL FOR THE YEAR. Lighten up a little. What’s done is done.
by Saber Slate | Jan 18, 2018 | Writing & Art
Originally Published February 7th, 2014 by Bazinga62
Hello, everyone! Now, as we all know, Singles’ Awareness Day is coming up next Friday. Once again, we’ll all happily enjoy the rest of our day after an exciting pep rally by hanging out with friends, getting some extra work done, watching TV, pwning n00bs in video games, etc. However, I understand that many of us know people who will be spending time with their significant others and showering each other with love…publicly…passionately…obnoxiously…whatever. Seriously, the nerve of them to do such a thing during Singles’ Awareness Day. Anyway, the purpose of today’s column is to tell you what NOT to do on Singles’ Awareness Day so you can keep being awesome away from all unwelcome displays of affection.
One thing you should avoid is (if you’re a girl) going last-minute dress shopping for Winterlude. Obviously, being single isn’t going to stop you from going to a school dance, but no matter what, do NOT go last-minute. What do you think everyone else is doing? Here’s the logic behind why EVERYONE waits until the last minute to go dress shopping: 1. Almost everyone expects others to be responsible people and get their dresses a LONG time in advance to avoid any possible crowding. That is exactly why, logically, most people should have already done their shopping long before you if you go last-minute. However, this causes everybody to go last-minute, assuming that most people will have already done their shopping. 2. By going last-minute, you lessen the chances of someone else wearing the same dress as you, since all the “popular” choices should be gone by then. 3. Going last minute also decreases the chances of meeting people from school who would criticize every choice you made. SO, by going last-minute, you’re actually increasing the chances of seeing your more affectionate classmates, and everyone knows that there’s WAY too much of that already.
Another thing you should avoid doing (for the guys out there) is going to a party, Now, the typical reasons for not going to parties (such as the presence and use of alcohol and narcotics) don’t matter here. I’m just going to go ahead and assume my readers are smart enough not to go anywhere near such places. No, MY reason for not going to parties on Singes’ Awareness Day is gossip. Although it’s very immoral, gossip is everywhere, and be honest with yourself, you’re going to take part in it SOMETIME. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT on February 14, though, because that night, everyone will be talking about one thing and one thing only: dates. Oh please, for the love of everything we singles appreciate about our relationship status, don’t go near such discussions. You’ll just regret putting yourself in a situation where you have to deal with even more relationship talk than what already exists at school, and during Singles’ Awareness Day no less. It’s outrageous!
Lastly (for both the guys and the girls), You might just want to spend the day with your friends of the same gender preference, as opposed to having a large group gathering. Why? Because of the concept known as the friend zone, and the fact that it doesn’t exist. Really, if anyone reading this column can tell me that they’ve never had two of their friends start dating out of the blue, please, I’m BEGGING you to prove me wrong. But until then, know this: because of the feelings associated with Singles’ Awareness Day’s more traditional name, Valentine’s Day, there is no time of the year with a greater risk of two of your friends deciding that they have feelings for each other, and start to express those feelings. Respect Singles’ Awareness Day, and don’t take that risk.
Well, those are just some tips for you guys out there who want to enjoy Feb. 14 away from all the corny emotional stuff. And for those of you who DON’T have a reason to recognize Singles’ Awareness Day, all you have to do is ignore everything in this column. Clean and simple.
