Just in time for Valentine’s Day, ‘Loveless in Language Arts’ asks: “How do I get a girlfriend? I’ve been crushing on this one girl for a while now and I wanted to know how to get her to go out with me.”
Now, this is a very exclusive and biased topic, so I’m going to extend the question a bit and ask: How can I start a healthy, love-filled relationship in this high school environment? The answer is simple: don’t try so hard. I know it’s not the answer you want but hear me out. If you’re trying so hard to get that person to like you like you like them, then you’re probably passing by people that are interested in you as well.
Another important step in the road towards a relationship is accepting rejection. Picture this: you’ve got it all set: the flowers, the corny sign, the backup dancers; your promposal is complete. Here they come, walking down the hall, and here you are with enough confetti for a New Year’s Eve party. You do your whole bit, and it finally comes to the question: Will you go out with me? “No,” they say. How do you react? Do you:
- Scream in their face about how they’re wrong?
- Repeatedly ask that person until they change their mind?
or
- Say that you accept their choice and respect their right to say no?
If you answered A or B, you need to learn how to take no for an answer. No matter who you’re asking out, there will always be the chance of them saying no. If this happens, you should tell them that you respect their choice and stop trying. You might take a hard hit to your emotions, but you can’t let it out on them, no matter how much you want to.
In the event that they say yes, however, congratulations. You’ve completed step one. Oh, you thought just because they said yes that you were in the clear? No, you’ve just begun you’re journey towards a relationship. There are many more steps in the adventure that we call love, however I know them not. They are different for each situation, and no one answer can be made for how to solve every conundrum. The only absolute I can say is that honesty must be part of your relationship. If you cannot trust each other, then you cannot possibly begin to have true love for each other.
Well, question asker, I hope you found this useful on your quest to start your relationship, and I wish you well on your journey. Sorry for the long wait, but technical difficulties as well as personal conflicts kept me from writing back.
If you have any questions that you’d like me to answer then please leave a comment below and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can!