Have you ever waited until the last minute to compete a big project, a final paper, or an article for your favorite high school newspaper for their annual satire week? If so, you may just be in luck. Recent studies show that procrastinators (like me) actually produce better work.
A study done a the South Harmon Institute of Technology shows this by showing this in the study. The study consisted of 20 college students, ten that were ranked the highest of their class high school graduating class, and ten that were not. When asked about when they completed their homework, the higher ranking students stated that they planned out exactly when they would complete each task for any given homework, setting goals and rewarding themselves only when they completed these goals. The other ten stated that they, quote, “usually wing it” and “hope for the best,” or, in other words, improvise due to procrastination. The studiers believe that the connection between putting a task off until the last minute and turning in better work is due to the stress levels of the brain increasing, increasing the speed and therefor the quality of all bodily functions, first of which being brainpower.
This shows a positive relation to procrastination because all of the students tested, procrastinators or not, were accepted into college.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “I want to try procrastinating, but I’m not sure how. How do I get started?” Well, it’s a lot easier than it sounds. Here is my four-step program to procrastination:
- Have work you need to do – You need a task you need to do in order to procrastinate, you can’t put off something that doesn’t exist!
- Wait until at least 75% of the allotted time you have has past. 85-90% is suggested, but 75% is the minimum for it to deemed procrastination, and what I personally suggest for begging procrastinators. What you do during that time is up to you, so have fun!
- Complete the task in that remaining time.
Yes, it’s as simple as that. Remember: the stress levels build the closer you get to the due date, which means your quality only increases as you push your work forward. The longer you wait to do something, the better it comes out!
In conclusion, procrastination is good and a solid solution to any and all problems one might face in a school or work environment. So go out there and don’t do what you’re supposed to do!
Please note this article is part of Saber Slate’s Satire Week and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you are confused by this, we suggest you look up the definition of satire.
Please use this article as a cautionary tale against procrastination, as it more often than not results in shoddy work such as this. Brought to you by Procrastination – Not Even Once.