The Day of Love
Love is already in the air once again — when is it not, here at FHS? More often than usual, you will see students acting way out of character to impress their crush or getting them fancy gifts or chocolates. Speaking of chocolates, it’s an important thing to consider whether your crush has a chocolate allergy or not. Be sure to ask every question to your crush so you can find out if they do, in fact, have a chocolate allergy before it’s too late! Perhaps they may not like chocolate either — DON’T BE FOOLED BY THEIR LIES! No one hates chocolate — even if they hate chocolate like it’s the most horrible thing to ever exist. Even then, you are able to find devout chocolate-haters hidden in the restroom stalls, or in dark corners of the classroom, sneaking a Kiss with their beloved, the horrible hypocrites that they are. Studies show that scientifically, you physically aren’t able to hate chocolate, no matter how much you indulge on average, per hour. Thus, my grand point is: get your valentine chocolate, no matter what they tell you. Chocolate wins anyone over. They think you’re being invasive and creepy? Leave in their lockers a giant candy bar every day that they turn you down and reject you. At some point, they’ll cave. Then, you will enjoy chocolate forever, for the rest of your lives, and grow old together, reminiscing upon those golden, sacred memories you made at Franklin High School.
However, we are forgetting a crucial aspect of Valentine’s Day culture– how to figure out whether s/he likes you back. This is what I’ve gathered from my many life experiences, and I shall inform you to help you and your future. My experiences with dozens of crushes can be reduced down to a simple, three step list.
- Step 1: Ask questions. Ask, ask, ask away! That way, you get to know a lot more about them and their personality, and whether or not it seems like it fits with your personality.
- Step 2: Be a nice guy! Buy anything and everything for your crush — their reaction to your ultimate kindness will show you if they like you or not. If you can tell that your crush does not like the gifts, do not give up! Tell them how nice you are, and how much they truly deserve a person like you. If they keep refusing, they are playing hard to get! That means they like you back! A challenge is always fun and good.
- Step 3: Become close friends. It’s especially helpful if you have been friends with them since childhood. The easier it is to become friends with them, the more likely it is that they like you back, and are letting you closer in to their lives. Finally, when you seem to be the bestest of friends, DON’T tell them your true feelings! BE CAREFUL! You’re already like a girl/boyfriend to them, and it’s clear that you are already a thing! Of course, when the time is right, propose to them IN PUBLIC so they can’t refuse — if they do end up refusing, act like it was all a funny joke and laugh it off. The best thing about a partner is their sense of humor.
I hope that I was able to be at least some help in your everlasting quest to find true love within high school. Take this advice to heart — but BEWARE! Love is strange and complicated, so instead of having just one day to express your true feelings, do it the entire year. There are plenty of fish in the sea — at least one of them will like you back, that’s a lifetime guarantee! Best of luck in your pursuit for love!