Originally Published November 16th, 2015 by thenextbigthing
As the author of the article “How to Escape the Friendzone”, I fear that I may have led readers into a trap. The friendzone exists for a reason. I am telling you: DON’T try to get out! There are a lot of reasons why dating a friend can be an exciting idea. You know their interests, secrets, and the people they hang out with. So basically, you don’t have to worry about whether they’ll leave you upon the discovery that you watch Attack on Titan; they already know-and decided to stick around to boot. While it could be an interesting thing to try, dating a friend is often just a recipe for disaster. Here are some reasons why.
- If you have to try to escape the friendzone, you’re already starting out caring more for the other party more than they do you. This kind of imbalance is can be disastrous in even the most advanced relationships, and it’s definitely not advisable to build a relationship on an uneven foundation.
- It can be hard to adjust. Yesterday you were playfully making jokes and now you’re holding his/her hand and obsessively eating breath-mints in the hopes of getting a smooch. There’s a lot of places where this can go wrong. Awkwardness is definitely initially a major part of the transition, but it is an even greater part of the transition back to friendship when something goes wrong.
- When you break up, things will never be the same. It doesn’t matter who started the argument or initiated the breakup or even if it was mutual. Even if you went to great lengths to ensure that things were okay between the two of you they’ll never be the same. This is largely because everyone has a natural tendency to victimize themselves after a breakup-even when the other party didn’t do anything wrong. Ultimately, this can be more exaggerated with friends. Even if you knew someone for five years before you started dating your friendship will never fully recover.
- Things can get BAD. It’s never fun when your ex (friend and girl/boyfriend) tries to start drama. It’s even worse when she/he tries to start drama with your friends. They might even try to play the game of “who likes who more?” among the friends both of you have shared for years. Perhaps the worst part of dating a friend is that they’ve seen you hurt…and they know exactly how to hurt you. In more bitter breakups this can inevitably cause undue emotional distress for one or both parties.
- You’ve got other options, bruh. There are a ton of people out there you won’t have to see or speak too every day if things go wrong. It sounds brash, but you have to think about whether you’d be okay seeing your crush as an enemy before proceeding.
Hopefully this article has thrown a punch in the stomach to your plans to Houdini your way out of the friendzone. Either listen to my experienced words or learn for yourself. Either way, only 2% of high school relationships last so more likely than not your current crush will be a faded memory a few years down the line. Have fun kids!