There are many things you probably didn’t know about the presidential candidates. This is why in the coming election, you should know all of the little things about the candidates that voters will be voting for. For instance:
1. Did you know that before Hillary Clinton was a major political figure, she was an aspiring rapper by the name “Capitol Hill(ary).” She often sang about the importance of women in politics, and though she did not succeed in this way, she did indeed later rise up the political ladder to go on to become the Secretary of State, and now a presidential candidate.
2. Before Donald Trump was the businessman and host of Celebrity Apprentice that we know him as today, he had a childhood. During this time of his life, he had a lemonade stand. This is what lead him into the career path he went down, due to his lemonade business expanding and creating more and more outlets across the US. Sadly, in 1955, the lemon market went way down, and his business went bankrupt.
3. Hillary Clinton once worked at an anti-spam email company, and had the sole duty to sift through gigabytes of emails, deleting all of the spam from the legitimate emails. She was the top of her business, though it did get shut down after Google improved upon the idea, and made the system autonomous.
4. Donald Trump spent $20 on a copy of the popular computer game Minecraft in order to improve his skills at building walls. He later remarked at the fact saying “What? I have to build it? This is outrageous.” He went on to say “I didn’t like it [Minecraft], it was too unrealistic. I mean, I had to bring the materials to build the wall. I distinctly remember saying Mexico is going to pay for it.”
5. Vermin Supreme, one of the runner-ups for the libertarian party, wants to give everyone in the nation a free pony. He also wears a boot on his head, so don’t take him too seriously.
6. Both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton get their hairstyles from the same place in New York City, Whigs R Us, run by a long-lost descendant of 13th president Millard Fillmore, who is proud of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather’s progress as president.
There you have it, all you need to know about each candidate before you and all the other voters out there go to the polls on November 8th and decide the fate of the nation for the next four (and possibly eight) years.
This was a satire article, and this means that none of it was true. The Saber Slate is an unbiased website that does it’s best to report on both sides of every story to remain unbiased and trustworthy.