How to Words Good

Here at the Saber Slate, we want you to know how to form a proper sentence. It is very important that you know how to spell, so that u can get good grades and succeed in high school. I know that you might think that spelling is easy, but it can b really hard after coming back from summer. After all the snapchats w shortened spelling for it to fit in the message. So here’s a few tips on how to write successfully.

Step 1: You don’t need useless letters.

If a word can be shortened, then do it. Alphabet? more like lphbt. See how simpl it is? The less letters the bettr. And if a word has n abriviation, or bettr yet, if u can replace it w a number, use it. with? more like w. And? more like n. C the dif alredy? Its so e z to shortn ur sentenses 4 ur teachr’s convinyense, resulting in a hi-er grade for u.

Step 2: Z and X are underused letters, and teachers love it when you use them instead of boring letters.

Have you ever had a boring word with a -cks ending? Use x to make it cooler. for example: I read 7 boox over the summer. Or, if it haz an s, uze z to make it better. for example: I read 7 bookz over the zummer. See how eazy it iz to make your sentencez cooler? And the cooler the sentence, the more likely your teacher is going to give you a better grade on it, in response to your coolness.

Step 3: Caps Lock is your friend.

SEE HOW THIS GRABS YOUR ATTENTION? USE ALL CAPS IN PLACES WHERE YOU WANT YOUR TEACHER TO FOCUS ON, SO THAT THEY KNOW THAT ITS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN WHAT YOU’RE WRITING!!!

Step 4 (and most important): Punctuation shmunkshooashon.

You don’t need those breaks in a sentence because teachers want to see that you have the mental stamina to keep a train of thought going on and on and on through run-on sentences so that you can better put your thoughts down efficiently and that you can go from one idea to another in a swift and fluid motion without slowing down the pace of the sentence

To conclude, in order 4 u 2 get A’s on evrythng, uze theze simple stepz so that u can keep your readrs intestd in ur riting and so that UR TEACHRS NO THAT U CAN KEEP THE IDEAS FLOWING W/OUT HAVING TO STOP WITH USLESS PUNKSHUASHON that way u show that u hav supersmarts and r n absaloot A+ student!!!

 

Disclaimer: This article was a satire, which means that it is NOT to be taken seriously. This means that it is NOT to be taken seriously, and is meant for comedic purposes, not as advice.

One thought on “How to Words Good

  • September 14, 2016 at 12:24 PM
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    I am the alphabet and this triggered me.

    Reply

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