Procrastination: Your Best Friend

Procrastination has long been looked down upon, as teachers and parents alike have preached to stay organized and finish early.  But with so many assignments to do in so little time, procrastination is by far the best method to getting things done.  As it turns out, the more you procrastinate, the better, and here are some scientifically proven reasons why.

  • Ignites metabolism
  • After procrastinating an assignment and realizing that it’s due the following morning, everyone feels the wave of anxiety flood their body.  Heart rates increase along with a desire to stay awake and move.  This is due to the release of hormones such as acetylcholine along with many others in the sympathetic nervous system.  By the heart rate increasing, body temperature rising, and muscles contracting, you are burning lots and lots of calories as your body fights to stay alive, or just pass your AP Bio exam, making up for the seven bags of chips you consumed earlier when procrastinating.  A slimmer figure wins over an A any day!
  • Unnecessary tasks are avoided
  • Procrastination wastes time, so when you are only left with a few precious hours or even minutes of it, you only get done what really needs to get done.  Cleaning your room, nah.  Brushing your teeth, there’s gum for that.  Getting 8 hours of sleep, who needs that?  In a way, procrastination teaches you the life skill of organization, without actually being organized!  
  • It shows what you really know
  • On test day, others have spent weeks studying the effects of the Antebellum period in American History, but you quickly skimmed your notes beforehand.  While they might get A’s, they are actually faking their knowledge.  Your C is an excellent representation of your true knowledge, and what information you will carry on after high school.  Your classmates will soon forget most of the material they purged on the test, but your honesty on your act of going in blind is downright noble.
  • Creativity
  • When your workload piles up and you don’t have enough time to get it all done, creativity is born.  Instead of doing all the work on the science homework, you’ll find that there’s probably a Quizlet which has the exact answers you need.  Instead of needlessly learning all the material and get it all done, you’ll discover various resources and friends who will help you reach success while putting in as little effort as possible.  Isn’t findings different ways to solutions something that schools encourage?
  • You discover your true passions
  • Browsing Buzzfeed for six straight hours is far more appealing than taking notes for English.  By ignoring your homework or chores, you’ll find numerous ways to avoid it while telling yourself what you are doing currently is far more important.  Who knew how interesting finding out which type of vegetable you are was!

 

Embrace your stress and make it your repulsive friend.  Keep calm and procrastinate on FHS!

 

Disclaimer: This article is part of the Saber Slate’s Satire Series and should not be taken as fact or reality. The issues that these articles are based off of are, however, relevant. We invite you to contemplate issues in society and how satire and the media can explain them.

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