Have you ever seen an article you want to comment on, but don’t know how to format it correctly? Well then, today I am going to tell you just how to post a comment on any article about any topic!
Before you begin, make sure that your shift key is broken. This is the only way you can make yourself stand out from other comments, and avoid CAPITAL punishment. (Sorry, I had to.)
Use your friend’s name without their permission and a fake email under the contact info. No one is honest on the internet nowadays anyway so why should you be?
Type whatever flows into your brain after you first start thinking about the subject. It doesn’t matter what you’re thinking, or how much your main thoughts relate to the subject, just type anything.
Make sure that the comment has something that you know at least one person will disagree with you on. This automatically makes you get a reply, which means that you are really popular!
If you want to make sure the journalist has done research (on any subject you are thinking of) start typing random questions about that subject! If they don’t respond, that just means they’re uninformed and haven’t done enough research to be a journalist.
If you have a website you want to advertise, just randomly insert links to your website throughout the comment. If you have a product you are selling, just keep copy and pasting links to your website with the name of the product. It doesn’t matter how relevant your product is to your comment, just randomly paste the link throughout your comment.
If you have done all these steps correctly, then your final product should end up beautiful, insightful and relevant.
Disclaimer: This article is part of the Saber Slate’s Satire Series and should not be taken as fact or reality. The issues that these articles are based off of are, however, relevant. We invite you to contemplate issues in society and how satire and the media can explain them.