We all know which 2016 presidential candidate has the best hair: Donald Trump. Trump may be well known for being the former host of the show “Celebrity Apprentice,” but we all know he is more known for his not-so-luscious locks. That’s right, the man who wants to build a huge wall between Mexico and America has what could be described as a ball of twine that was unraveled and straightened onto his head, with only some of it glued to it. A gentle breeze will make it fly like a flag in a hurricane, or like a plastic bag in an updraft.
I mean, look at that picture on the top of the page. Bask in all of it’s limitless glory. It looks like a bird’s nest fell on his head and he hasn’t noticed yet, and no one wants to tell him. It would appear as though Trump’s hair is trying to escape the clutches of his scalp, like a bird held in a cage. It was as if his hair was stolen from its original owner, and his hair just wants to return home, like a child left behind, like a pet left in the rain. (Excuse the Green Day Lyrics, had to get them in somehow)
Now here is a list of the things Trump’s hair looks Like:
1. A ear of corn:
2. A very hairy caterpillar:
3. And finally, this very photogenic dog that thinks illegal chihuahua’s are ruining this country:
In conclusion, this Republican candidate might be a leader in the polls, and a semi-successful businessman, but still definitely needs a new barber to take care of whatever is trying to break free from his scalp.
Until next time, this has been Your Favorite Freshman.