Girls: Okay first of all, to make this clear, most girls absolutely do NOT need 7 hours to get ready. Most of them will spend the day doing a variety of activities, such as participating in the state solo and ensemble competition, studying for AP exams, or, my personal favorite option, sleeping.
2. Next, while drying hair is important, it may be shocking to some that you do not need to towel dry, air dry, AND use a blow dryer. Many will opt for choosing the towel as a preliminary drying measure, and then use either a blow dryer or the air to complete this task.
3. Contrary to the last article, the next step is certainly not putting on the long, generally expensive dress. That, in most situations, will occur within 30 minutes of leaving the house. As you can possibly imagine, wearing a heavy dress that goes down to your ankles is not conducive for many of the activities which follow, including the application of makeup and hair product, as well as the simple acts of walking or using the restroom.
4. Arrange hair to your preference using as much mousse, wax, glitter, spray, etc. as needed. This is acceptable as is, and personal preference is important here.
5. Make up. (optional….technically)
6. Accessorize like a boss.
7. Although it is an important step to review your handiwork, if done properly in each step, there should be no need to redo any of the above. This is also an excellent time to put that dress on and give up on all personal comfort for the next several hours.
8. Put your game face on? How has this not already been done?
9. When ready, meet up with friends at designated location.
10. Compare dresses, dates, plans, etc. (and most importantly, talk about the type of food they will be serving at Prom! Get your priorities straight!!)
11. Go somewhere you can be seen, like the city, an art museum, the pier, a park, etc. with your friends. Because what’s the point in looking this fabulous if no one gets to appreciate it?
12. Return to designated location.
13. Review appearance and increase enthusiasm level to maximum. (As this is the second mention of preparing your attitude- I must interject. THIS IS PROM! GET YOUR ENTHUSIASM ON!)
14. If step 13 returns with inadequate results, review and perhaps repeat steps 9-12. (HOW ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT ENTHUSIASM???) If this fails, pump up those jams bro.
15. Take turns boosting each others’ confidence. (Girl, you fabulous)
16. If step 15 returns with inadequate results, review and perhaps repeat step 13. (Why are your steps failing so much??? Attitude is everything but it isn’t like you are going to a funeral… This is PROM)
17. Repeat step 7. (Don’t. You. Dare.)
18. Wait with friends for your dates to pick you up. (Why are you WAITING for them?? You are strong independant women! Go pick THEM up or something! Literally.)
Guys: 10 minutes before going to pick up your date…
1. If you haven’t showered in the last 12 hours, this better be a priority before you go to a social event. I can say with relative certainty that this thought at least crosses the minds of most gentlemen. Maybe.
2. Put on your rent-a-tux
3. Optionally, you can quickly brush your hair and apply hair gel or whatever you desire
4. Walk out the door (and hopefully commandeer some form of motor vehicle, unless you are travelling by carpool, train, airplane, helicopter, or bicycle)
(NOTICE: THIS IS A SATIRE! NONE OF THESE VIEWS REFLECT THOSE OF THE AUTHORS OR THE SABER SLATE AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN WITH OFFENSE)